Most negotiations get stuck in the same place: two sides staring at each other across a table, each defending what they want. One side wants /unit. The other won’t budge above . Positions locked. Conversation dead.
But here’s what most negotiators miss: the number on the table isn’t the negotiation. It’s a symptom of something deeper – and if you can get to that deeper thing, you can almost always find a deal.
What’s the Difference?
A position is what someone says they want. A price, a deadline, a specific term. It’s the demand on the surface.
An interest is why they want it. The underlying need, fear, goal, or pressure driving that demand.
Fisher and Ury laid this out in Getting to Yes decades ago, and it’s still one of the most misapplied concepts in business negotiations. People read it, nod, and then go straight back to arguing over numbers.
The reason: digging for interests feels uncomfortable. It requires asking questions instead of making arguments. It requires listening instead of persuading. Most negotiators aren’t trained for that – or patient enough to do it.
A Simple Example
Imagine a supplier holding firm at /unit. Their position is clear. But what’s their interest?
Maybe they’re dealing with a cost increase on raw materials that hit last quarter. Maybe they’re trying to hit a revenue number before end of year. Maybe they have a capacity constraint and need to justify the run. Maybe they have a relationship with their boss on the line.
If you find out it’s a raw material cost issue, you might offer a longer-term contract that gives them volume certainty – which reduces their risk even if the per-unit price comes down. If it’s a year-end revenue problem, maybe you accelerate the payment schedule.
Same position on the surface. Entirely different solution space once you understand the interest.
How to Surface Interests in a Real Conversation
You don’t need a therapy degree. You just need a few disciplined questions:
- “Help me understand what’s driving that number for you.”
- “What does a good outcome look like on your end?”
- “If price weren’t the issue, what else would matter to you here?”
- “What are you trying to protect in this deal?”
Most people, when asked sincerely, will tell you. They’ve been waiting for someone to actually ask. The problem is most negotiators are too busy planning their next move to listen to the answer.
The Trap: Assuming Your Counterpart’s Interests
This is where even experienced negotiators get burned. They think they know what the other side wants – and they’re usually wrong, or only partially right.
A purchasing manager who looks like they’re squeezing for price might actually be protecting their credibility inside their organization. A vendor who seems inflexible on delivery terms might have a logistics partner relationship they can’t break. A client demanding contract changes might be reacting to a legal scare from a completely different vendor.
Don’t assume. Ask. Then verify what you heard: “So if I’m understanding you right, the bigger issue is X, not Y – is that fair?”
That one habit – ask, listen, verify – separates deal-makers from deal-breakers.
Practical Takeaway
Before your next negotiation, write down the other side’s likely position – the demand you’re expecting to hear. Then, below it, write three possible interests that could be driving it. Walk into the room ready to test those hypotheses through questions.
You won’t always get to the real interest immediately. But the negotiator who keeps asking “why” will always outperform the one who’s only thinking about “what.”
Positions are where negotiations start. Interests are where they finish.
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